


Naruto Drabbles

by DeathByShyKid



Category: Naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 07:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16719267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathByShyKid/pseuds/DeathByShyKid
Summary: I've been collecting these strange ideas for drabbles for at least six months and I think its time I start sharing some of my favorite ones.Most are based off little things I see and/or watch in a day: a vine here or there, a meme that's out, some strange tumblr post, or from every day life.





	1. A Question For You

It was an hour before midnight one Saturday evening. Naruto had invited his friends over for a sleepover. They had spent most of the day playing card games and doing some boyish things but, as the night started to wind down, the shower thoughts rose out of them.

Lee turned to Naruto and, with a dead-eyed stare, asked, "If you cloned yourself and then got a handjob from your clone, is that incest, homosexual, or masturbation?"

Sweat runs down his neck as he searches for an answer.

Not a moment later, Shikamaru sighs, "It's a sin, that's what it is."

Naruto gawks at him, feeling offended, "Its called having fun!" The boys give each other a look before turning to the blond. He flares up in red, "I am very lonely so shut the fuck up."

Choji, who they thought had been asleep, groans aloud, "Please go to sleep, I have training with my dad tomorrow."

"Sleep is for the weak," Lee informed, cracking a cold one with the boys.


	2. Welcome to Sex Ed

Iruka stood in front of the class, a nervous and shy smile on his face. Behind him was a projection of human biology - the man having had to explain the inner workings of the male genitalia and how babies came into the world.

Many students were horrified.

He turns to them, shutting the projection off, "Now, does anyone have any other questions?"

Kiba raised his hand, having looked bored throughout the whole lesson, "Yeah, is it okay to have a wet dream?"

The brown-haired teacher flushed red, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'll say this now, it's okay to have a wet dream, everyone."

"Wait," Naruto raised his hand, Iruka nodding for him to go on, "What if it's a wet nightmare?"

Iruka gave a nervous chuckle, "Um... well, you see-"

"SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE SAFE WORD!" Lee, sobbing his eyes out, suddenly cried out.


	3. Street Fight

Jiraiya was sitting on a bench in New York, flipping through the daily newspaper while peeking up at pretty girls. He managed to get a few of there numbers when some found him at least a bit enticing. Though, as it started to reach about noon, there was a bit of commotion in the road.

A blond-haired man had his head sticking out of the bus, hands tight against the steering wheel, "Fuck you, Sasuke! I could have fucking run over you!"

"Fuck you too, Naruto." A dark-haired pedestrian shouted back, a fist in the air, "I was fucking counting on it."

Naruto honked the horn of the bus, "Go back to counseling, you're brother's worried about you!"

"I told you that I'm never going back, dobe!" Sasuke hissed out, starting to walk away.

"Fucking teme!" With that, the bus set off while the pedestrian disappeared off the streets.

Jiraiya sighed to him, "Kids these days."


	4. Joking

**"Naruto..."**

There was a disembodied voice off in the distance. He can't open his eyes for he is far too tired.

**"Hey, Naruto..."**

The voice is calling to him again followed with a low rumble. He peeks open, seeing the golden gates of the cage deep within his mindscape.

"What is it?" Naruto calls out cautiously.

Red eyes peek out from the darkness, a cruel smile somewhere beneath them,  **"Want to hear a joke?"**

"Uh..." He blinks for he is not sure what this is all about before shrugging; he always loved a good joke, "Yeah, sure."

The beeping of his alarm shook him from the mindscape, eyes shooting open only to be assaulted by the blinding sun.

Kurama laughs in the back of his head while Naruto just groans, upset that he could not have heard the beast's joke.


End file.
